Reading Time: 3 minutes
Alec Baldwin has PTSD following the tragic Rust shooting.
With The Baldwins finally premiering, the world is getting a glimpse into him at a time when he’s processing it all.
When this filmed, Baldwin did not know whether he would be in prison for the premiere. (He is decidedly not)
More significantly, he felt haunted — and, obviously, traumatized — by the horror of Halyna Hutchins’ death.
Alec Baldwin is processing his trauma on ‘The Baldwins’
On the February 23 series premiere of The Baldwins, People reports, Alec Baldwin shares his diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder following the Rust tragedy.
“He was diagnosed with PTSD,” Hilaria shares during the first episode.
“And he says in his darkest moments, ‘If an accident had to have happened this day, why am I still here? Why couldn’t it have been me?’” she describes. That kind of survivor’s guilt is extremely common.
Addressing husband Alec, Hilaria Baldwin details: “You wake up in the morning and you’re like, ‘Oh god, why did I wake up?’”
It turns out that she’s not exaggerating. Baldwin has struggled to explain his mental and emotional state to friends, but he has tried.
“I said, ‘I’m happier when I’m asleep than when I’m awake,’” he admits.
Alec Baldwin is in a state of disbelief
During the The Baldwins premiere, Alec Baldwin describes the experience as “surreal.”
To Hilaria, Baldwin remarks: “I can’t even believe that we’re going through this.” That state of disbelief during a period of prolonged trauma is also pretty normal — and must have been worsened by the trial.
“I always feel more in pain about you than me,” Baldwin explains to Hilaria. “Because I think to myself, well, you know, I’m going to try to my best to just get through it, and I think what it’s done to you and how much it’s hurt you and everything.”
“This past year was just terrible,” Alec Baldwin then remarks in a confessional segment.
“There were times I’d lay in bed, I’d go, ‘Wow, my kids. I can’t get up,’” he characterized.
Baldwin clarified: “That’s not like me. I’m not like that at all, not in any way am I like that. Never.”
Being parents has helped them to keep it together — because they have to
“I look at the kids, and I see how hard we’re trying to create happy for them, even if we’re masking stuff for ourselves,” Hilaria explained.
“I know that what we’re going through is maybe unique,” she admitted. “But every family goes through hard times, and that’s something that we can feel a community of support.”
Hilaria continued: “Knowing that the best that we can do is do our best and try to make our kids happy, and so that’s what we’re doing.”
At this point, Baldwin chimes in to agree with his wife.
“Honestly, from the bottom of my soul, I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have you and these kids going through this,” he admits. “I never would have made it with this.”
Baldwin adds: “Sometimes I’d say, ‘Why did I have seven kids? Why do we have seven kids?’ And I realize, to help carry me and you through this situation.”